Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Death by Small Talk

Alex is taking me to a fancy-shmancy banquet tonight.  Which caused me to reminisce to a conversation we had a couple of days ago about the worst ways to die.  Burning, drowning, suffocation and dismemberment were topping our lists {we may watch too many crime dramas}.  But as I was getting ready today for this evening out, where I will know a total of 3 people in the room, I've decided to add Death by Small Talk to the list.  I abhor making small talk.  I'm bad at it.  Its uncomfortable.  Like trying to go {pee} after giving birth, uncomfortable.  Too much info?  I have plenty to say if I KNOW the person.  Like really know them.  Like have spent many years getting to know them, know them. I could go on and on.  Added to the fact that I cannot for the life of me remember people's names?.....  Oi.  But I love my husband, so I'm going to go and try and survive some small talk tonight.  If nothing else, it will be nice to be out on our first date in the last hundred years.  Plus I've got my old standby things to say:
1. Rainy weather we've been having lately huh?
2. Where do you work?
3. How would you prefer to die? 
4. This dessert is delicious, eh? {because evidently I have Canadian speech tendencies all of the sudden}
Well, maybe not number 3.  I might get put on some sort of "watch this chick-and bug her phone" lists. 
Do you like small talk?  What are your standby things to say? Because clearly I need some help.


  1. I hate small talk too! Even more the awkward silence. I usually talk about:
    1. Weather
    2. Where they work and what they do
    3. Ask if they have family
    4. Say I like their outfit or shoes(that's if I really do)
    When I worked as a stylist and I had a new client, I struggled with this a lot. But after awhile you say something and then they do and usually you get a conversation going.
    I'm sure you could google things on how to small talk or break the awkward silence. haha :)

  2. You are too much!! And I agree, small talk stinks!