Why We Go

The missions trip that Alex and I will be leading again to La Libertad is fast approaching.  I thought I would take a moment to share why we continue to go back. In a list form, because I really love lists.

1. God has laid El Salvador on our hearts for the past 4 years. It is no coincidence that the name of the church we partner with is called The Great Commission!

2. They are quiet, and don't get a lot of notice from people, but the affect they have had on us is enormous. They are hard working, fisherman and tradespeople.  It is a hard life.  And they are thankful.

3. Pastor Ivo's heart for his community is a so huge. It takes a very special man to love God so much that he would pastor in such extreme conditions.  He pastors a church, that he knows can barely feed themselves, let alone give back. I have had the great pleasure of watching him take an orphaned child into his arms, and hold her as his own. His eyes shine with the love of God.

4. To go and serve people, who in American eyes have nothing, is an experience I cannot bring words to. The warmth and friendship they offer cannot be matched.  I come away every time humbled and repentant of my own mindset. Jesus is everything. Everything.  I'm not going to stand before my Lord and say someday "But Father, did you not see the new line of dishes at Target?" (At least I hope not)

5. Spending a week with children who are continually trolled by gangs. Children. Being asked to be drug runners.

6. Giving a pair of flip-flops to a child who has NO shoes. The smile on their faces and the tears in his/her parent's eyes..... Oh my heart.  My heart cannot fathom not being able to stop the hunger pains in my child's belly, or protect their feet....

7. The children at the church's nutrition center. Our missions department sponsors 20 children (much like Compassion Int.)  and to watch them grow year after year, is such a statement about the glory of God. We want to get that number up to 40 people!! Lets wrap around Pastor Ivo and commit to 40 children who would not otherwise eat. Please contact me or Missions Director Don Denevic at tel:(440)323-4644.

8. We will be returning to the orphanage that we started building a relationship with last year.  We will whisper love into those babies.  Hold the hands of the children.  We will do our very best to love them for a day, but share a deeper love with them that will last far longer than our short visit.

The outdoor kitchen where the daily tortillas are cooked

 

If you would like us to go on your behalf, be the hands and feet, a representation of Jesus Christ, please use this secure PayPal link.

We would be honored by any size gift. Thank you so much! It means the world to us. Or if you would like to make a donation of flip flops, coloring books, etc. for the children please email me at marilee.marks@gmail.com

 

 

Summit 9: The Statement that Changed My Life

I have never been to a military boot camp. My understanding is that is is intensely, physically and mentally grueling.
Something important to know about me is I love learning! When I went back to college as an adult I loved it.  I appreciated the mental challenge far more than when I was a teenager. It felt so good to work my brain in more strenuous ways than Dr. Suess and Mickey Mouse allow for.
That being said, I thought signing up for Together for Adoption's theology of adoption boot camp would be so fun!.... Let me tell you, Dan Cruver, Drill Sargeant, Sir. You were tough.  I left your class completely worn.  But in a good way :) 

If you ever have the opportunity to sit in on his teaching, do NOT pass it up. I loved the passion with which he spoke.  He brought his very personal life in as examples, emotions that would be very hard to share with the world.  But it served to prove that he was speaking from his heart and not from some lofty position on an educated, high pedastal.

In my last post I made a bold statement.  I said that what I had learned in that class had been life altering.  And I promise you it was.

Two days before I left for Summit 9, I sent a text to my husband that basically said "I'm a failure. We aren't doing enough.  3 kids have died of hunger related issues since I started typing this text." I wasn't in a great place. 

So when I sat down on Wednesday morning I was shocked when the first words out of Dan's mouth were, "Please quick write down on the back of your handouts, on a scale of 1-10 how much do you think God is delighting in you right now in your life."

.......inside I'm screaming "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???" and I'm pretty sure he was looking right at me. I generously gave my self a 4 and then settled in for the 7 hour class.

**I'm going to attempt to take an intense 7 hours and condense it down to its most simplistic form. 

Adoption, biblically speaking, is not simply about the ~150 million children in this world. 
Adoption, biblically speaking, is the story of the entire history of the universe. Every person, that ever was.
Ephesians 1:4-6,  ⁴ For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love ⁵ he^[b] predestined us for adoption to sonship^[c] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— ⁶ to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

When it was just God the Father, the Holy Spirit and Jesus the Son, and nothing else, there was great love.  Because as 1 John tells us, "God IS love. And he who dwells in love, abides in God, and God IN him."   

Because God is love, "Love is never turned inward.  It is always turned outward upon others." - Dan Cruver

So, when the world was a void the expression of that love was a desire to create.  Now think of the magnificent creations of this world. Mountains, forests, waterfalls, lakes, plains, desserts, animals, the waters of the Carribbean. 

source

It says in the Bible that He made these, and was happy.  He delighted in his creation.  But of all the things he created, all the incredible, breathtaking landscapes, flowers, animals etc., it was man that He chose to make in his image.  Man got to be designed in his image.

But man messed it all up.  Man chooses self over and over and over.

God still wants us.  God still desires to be in relationship with us.  But the only way for for us to be included into the triune circle of communion again, was for the Son to become man.  He so desired our messed up, selfish, failure selves that He sent his Son down.

And as Dan said, for the first time in history, Jesus made it possible for God to reside in Man, his new temple, new Eden, via the Holy Spirit. 

So here it is.  If you followed along with me down that road (I wish I was fancy and could have put an arrow down in betwen all those paragraphs), Dan made a statement that changed everything for me.  He took what I've been reading in the Bible for my whole life, but not really accepting completely, stared straight at me and said these words:

**** "When the Father looks at Jesus, He sees you.  Because Christ is in you.  And you are in Him.  He. Delights. In. You."
And not only that, it gets better. "God puts people in your life to delight in you.  And to remind you that God delights in you." 
 Remember how I texted my husband, and whined about being a failure?  This was his response: "You are doing exactly what God wants. When he wants. I know your heart."

Even when I mess up.  Even when I don't do enough.  Even when I choose to ignore the pleas of the starving because it is just so much more fun to live the American dream.  When I choose to look away.  When I give in to our fatigue.  God. Still. Wants. Me.

I am his daughter.
He Chose me.
He adopted ME.

That is what adoption is about.! The 150 million children out there, and the familes fighting to welcome them into families, and the organizations fighting to prevent orphans, and the ones fighting to reunite families... its because we are adopted by the Father.  He loves us so!  And we show that love, living in us, by loving the children of this world. By adopting them into our families. By fighting for them.

My 4, at the beginning of class became a 10.  Because there is nothing I can succeed at, or fail at that will make me be any more, or any less, loved by God.

Please come back and I will share simple ways for you to demonstrate God's love and delight in you, to the orphaned children of this world.

And Dan Cruver, if you are reading this, I hope I did your teaching justice, please forgive me if I mangled it :)

Summit 9 Series: Day 1

I clearly remember when I was a little girl, sitting completely enraptured by visiting missionaries in our church sanctuary. I can still see the bright orange carpet, and the scuffs on the pew backs where small feet had for years, rested upon the hymnal racks, before mothers quietly gave "the look"and the feet were quickly dropped.

For me, when they would speak, all the people, my parents, my fidgety brother, other kids, they would all fade into the background.  I did not want to miss a single word that they said.  I visualized the far away lands that they spoke of, and imagined myself there someday.  I imagined what it would be like to be brave.  I wanted to know as much about God as they did, and speak with even a fraction of their passion.  Missionaries were my rock stars.  And I wanted to grow up to be just like them.

But it wasn't until a woman came to speak alone, that I KNEW that God had a plan for me and my heart.  I so wish that I remembered her name.  I hate that I forgot it.  But she would probably say that is exactly what should have happened.  I don't remember her name, but I do remember that she followed Jesus Christ every day.  And that is what truly matters anyway.  She spoke of an orphanage she lived at.  Although to her, it wasn't an orphanage.  It was just home.  And all the children who had either been left from poverty or by their parents' deaths, were her children.  In that moment I knew.  I didn't know when or how, but loving children is what God had for me.  Fighting for children was my mission.  Loving babies, without a mama to make them feel safe, is who God made me to be.

Twenty years later, that is where I'm walking. I'm taking steps to follow my heart.  Sometimes those steps feel enormous and I don't feel brave enough.  Sometimes the steps feel like I'm in slow motion or like I'm in quick sand and I just can't get where I want to be.  And other times I stand still.... and wait. 

The peace though, oh the peace is so good.  I love how God puts you in a certain place and time, and puts all the right people in your path. If you let him. For me, going to the Christian Alliance for Orphans, Summit 8 was exactly that.  I learned so much, I met the most wonderful people, and I really was able to refine what I should do next.  This last year was definitley a year of refining.  And growing. And waiting. Excruciating waiting.  I was so tested in my personal life, family life, community and faith. 

I wanted to quit.  A couple of times.  But you can't ever really escape your core being, can you?  I went to Summit 9 this year feeling so completely, utterly, unworthy.  A failure.  But what I learned {rather, reminded of} the very first day at a pre-conference intensive workshop changed all of that.  And then that message kept on getting hammered home to me.  I think God knows that he is going to need many people, to remind me in different ways and at different times, repeatedly.
  And he did just that.  That lesson, was so life altering.  I know that sounds so dramatic.  Possibly trite.  Maybe a little cliche.  I know it sounds that way, but it is truth.  The way I think changed. 

Come back tomorrow to find out what the message was! Subscribe, follow, or whatnot... because you just might find it "life altering" too :-)

The Little Moments of Joy

Sometimes it feels like it just won't be possible to smile again. There is just too much cancer in the world.  There are too many people out to hurt innocent lives. Too much hatred.  Too many children dying of preventable causes, alone in streets.

When my world gets all topsy turvy, and things happen that I just cannot make sense of, the very little moments in life lift me.
A hug from my grandparents, whom I didn't even realize how desperately I missed.
Laughter in a little Honda Civic with my aunt and sisters.
Breathtaking mountains.
A late Sunday evening chat in a living room.

As Ann Voskamp always says, it is the gratitude for the little gifts that bring healing. The smallest of gifts help us to turn our weary eyes upward, to the Father who gave them. Who coninually shows His love to us, even when this broken world hurts us.

When I got home from a very hard {emotionally, mentally, physically} 6 day trip, and discovered that my family had a surprise for me, a gift of joy, on the wings of music.... well I was yet again brought to tears.  But the good kind of tears, tears that would cleanse and breathe renewal into me.

This is one of my 1000 gifts.  May it bring a smile to your day, as it did mine..... that I've since watched about 23 times.

 

 

 

**** Thank you to all who prayed for Stacey as she fought her cancer.  She is reunited with her Savior and two of her babies, rejoicing and pain free in Heaven.  Your kind words and prayers were such a gift, and I know that her husband Jacob and their 5 children can still use your prayer support as they move into a new future without her.

Summit 9 and Divine Intervention

When I was a child I wanted desperately to see a real, Divine miracle.  The stories of Jesus and his disciples doing miraculous works were the ones that captivated me the most, and so I became so watchful!

What I didn't realize was that the chances of God feeling I need to walk on water like Jesus or Peter, were pretty slim.  And no matter how hard I prayed,  He did not go for making a chocolate cake appear out of nowhere like manna. It would have been very cool though!

Last year at Summit 8 it really hit home to me that most of the time God moves, and is working in our lives in small ways.  If we are vigilant, we will see Him. 

I went to Summit 8 based on a desire to go.  I was the non-existent director of a non-existent Orphan Care ministry at my church.  All I knew was that God wanted me to go.  That was something I knew for sure.  But as a stay at home mom, extreme introvert, with a general fear of new people, mixed in with zero experience in leadership, I was clearly the obvious choice to start a new ministry {please don't miss the sarcasm}.

This would be a very long story if I don't get to the point.  Once I arrived in California there were four very clear instances of God being in complete control of my destiny.  I told my husband and friends when I returned that it was as if I had been led around by an invisible hand for 3 days.

1. My husband and I had scraped together the money for me to go fly from Ohio to California, used his business Marriott points to book my hotel, and a very trusting missions director at my church had paid for my registration.  There was not a lot of wiggle room in my budget.  So when I found that the conference was a bit farther away from my hotel than it appeared on a map I was in a bit of a panic.  I didn't have money for a taxi and there was no shuttle.  As I was asking the hotel desk clerk if she felt it would be safe enough for me to walk this busy highway at night, a couple behind me overheard.  They were from Ohio as well and offered not only to drive me that morning to the conference to but to meet me every morning and evening to drive me back and forth!   They were a gift to me.

2. The one and only book that I had read about starting a church based ministry was, "Launching an Orphan Ministry in Your Church," by Jason Weber and Paul Pennington of Hope for Orphans.  Because of this, this was the first workshop that I went to.  I was having a hard time getting my Orphan Care ministry off the ground and so I wanted to see what they could help with.  Their focus of the workshop was the importance of working all the steps.  I, in my self-centeredness had skipped the most vital step of all.  I had taken the job onto myself and neglected to establish a prayer team.  But where God's hand comes into the picture was the next morning.  I was in line at the hotel to get some coffee when a man ahead of me introduced himself to me, noticed that I had a conference badge and wanted to chat!  It turns out he was from Hope for Orphans.  To which I replied that I had been at their workshop and read the book.  He wanted to know what I thought and so I told him that it didn't work for me..... crickets.  Then he got a huge smile, shouted to a bunch of other Hope for Orphans staff, "Hey guys make room at the table! We need to talk to this lady."  What proceeded was a sit down with the staff and authors full of advice for me. And me explaining how if you skip a step, especially the prayer one... the whole thing falls apart.  Their kindness and generosity didn't end at breakfast but extended through the rest of the conference. 

3. The third instance that I felt God's leading was at lunch the second day.  I was getting very lonely.  Most of the people had come with at least one other person.  At lunch that day I had walked past many tables and benches of people eating and chatting together.  As I mentioned, I am terrified of talking to new people.  I worked my way over to one of many lunch lines and stood in line for a salad. After a few minutes a woman in front of me turned around, said hello, where are you from etc.  She was very sweet and so I asked her where she is from.  She said Hillsboro, Oregon.  I was excited because this is where most of my family lives.  I asked her what church, and the one she named sounded so familiar, so I said "I think my aunt and uncle go to that church."  To which she asked me what my aunt's name is.  As soon as I said it her face lit up and she exclaimed that my aunt is a dear friend and taught my cousins Sunday School class for many years!  She immediately invited me to join her and her friend for lunch.  If you could understand the massive size of the Saddleback campus and the thousands of people there, and for me to get in line, lonely, behind the one woman in thousands that was from the town I was born in, who is friends with my aunt.... God at work. We had so much fun and chatted so long that I was late for my next workshop... which led to my 4th encounter.

4.  As I was hurrying away from lunch to find my next workshop, I noticed on a grassy hill, a woman sitting who looked very familiar.  As I drew closer I was almost positive that it was Adeye Salem.  The woman who had started it all for me.  One year before I had started reading her blog. No Greater Joy Mom.  Her heart for adoption, that is lived out in her own family, and on her blog advocating for other orphans (especially with special needs) is unparalleled.  It was from reading her blog that I had felt the Holy Spirit moving in me to rise up.  I did not want to let this moment go by without meeting her in person and thanking her for the work she does.  Without Adeye, I would not be at Summit.  We had a very nice visit, which led to dinner together later, sitting at the final general session and Steven Curtis Chapman concert, and then she drove me back to my hotel!  Adeye was as genuine and kind as she is on her blog and today I call her a friend.  One of the things we talked about most was a lack of special needs focus at Summit.  We agreed that we would spend a lot of time praying about it, and I'm so pleased to say that Adeye and her husband Anthony will be speaking at a workshop this year in Nashville!  Again, I cannot emphasize enough the fact that the Saddleback Church campus is much like a college campus.  There were multiple tents and buildings, many different paths to get places, and thousands of people there.  There was just no way I should have encountered Adeye on that path, late for my workshop, without divine interference.

This is why I will be returning this year to Summit 9.  I have seen God hard at work in people and organizations this year.  Because of the faithful work of the many people, families, organizations and churches, people like me get to go and be blessed and encouraged in our own journey.  I'm so very thankful for the many people who are living the call to care for the fatherless, and I can't wait to see how God will use Summit again in my life this coming year. As the prophet Jeremiah says, "is this not what it means to know God?"  And I want to know God.  And as for those miracles I wanted to see?  Well just last night, I received word from a friend who had a HUGE miracle happen for the adoption of her new son from Latvia.  On this Easter weekend, God is still proving that He reigns.

The Terrible Truth

When all four of my kids ran off this afternoon to play at our neighbors' house it was the perfect moment.  The perfect melding of kids being gone + me having energy + me not having anywhere I need to be + nothing vital needing my attention.. 

Now in the past, I may have taken those two hours of quiet bliss to read a book. Or watch a girl movie.  Or I may have done my hair for the first time in..... well a long while.  But lets face it.  Alex is out of town so I'm going to continue to slough the day away in a pony tail and yoga pants. Like I said, perfect moment.

Not only were my kids gone, Alex is gone and I had energy, but y'all I was in a cleaning mood! Yes! Glory.

**** Full disclosure, I keep all the vital parts of my home sanitized and clean, all the time.  Cooking surfaces, clothing, toilets, bathrooms, floors, door knobs, clean sheets and the disgusting rabbit cage that my man bought without consulting me (yes honey, that comment was aimed right at you),  etc.*****

To continue with my sordid tale, I need to fill you in on the fact that I've been married for almost 11 years.  I have 4 children, the youngest being a rascally, Dennis the Menace, that is 4 years old.  My point is, I wasn't married yesterday and this isn't my first day being a mother.  I would also like to make you aware of the fact that I'm not dumb.  Blond yes, dumb no.  I'm not bragging on my intellect, I just think you should give me some credit before you continue to read my deep dark confession.

Here it is.
I'm 5 foot 3 inches.  Barely. I come from a long line of very short women.  And now, in my 30th year I am just now realizing that I've been cleaning my home all wrong.  You see, there is a whole world above my 5 foot vision.  A world that I never see.  And I may have neglected to clean above my line of vision for one or two or..... 11 years..... ewwwwww!!! 

I sort of forget that the top of the fridge exists.  I forget that there are tops to doors, windows and closets.   And it may have never occurred to me that the top of my cabinets are all dusty because I NEVER have seen them.

Out of sight and completely, freaking out of mind people!! I thought I was a good keeper of my home and low and behold I am not.  I am not.  Ugh.  So disgusting.

If that wasn't bad enough, this happened next {I am nothing if not a good friend to y'all because you are suddenly going to feel really good about yourselves. You're welcome}.

Whilst I was NOT cleaning at my husband's vision line of 6 feet, I also seemed to have forgotten that my son.  Whom I love.  Walks around at approximately 3 and one half feet.  And while I am vigilant about bathing him and making sure he washes his hands often, some how he seems to have created such a hazmat situation on the walls of  my home, that I may not be able to show myself in public ever again.

Good bye world.  I'll be home scouring my home at the 3.5 foot level for the next decade.  Love you friends but you cannot come over any more.

I innocently stooped down to clean up some coffee I splattered accidentally when all of a sudden the shorty world of my son opened up to me. Cue the music and the lights because it was as if I was blind and the good Lord just restored my vision.

Holy Crap.  And I do mean crap.  So I stoically took a deep breath, braced myself and decided to venture around my house. At Donovan's level. Its not pretty friends. 

If you have come to my home. Ever.  I sincerely apologize.  I will be spending every day of the foreseeable future scrubbing the blazes out of my home below 3 feet and above 6 feet.

Happy Wednesday to you.  I hope you feel fabulous about your homemaking skills now.

Inst-Friday and a Fundraiser

Hey there!  Who else is so awfully relieved that it is Friday?  We made it through a week of school without police involvement, tantrums, bullies or illness!!!  That is something to celebrate. 
I'm linking up for Inst-Friday with Jeannett, {I'm Marijmarks if you want to follow on Instagram}  but I have a matter heavy on my heart first.

My sweet friend Michelle and her husband Mike are trying to raise the remaining adoption funds to bring their 12 year old son home from Latvia.  He was able to visit over Christmas with New Horizons hosting program, and they miss him so much!  It is vital that he come to the U.S. as soon as possible because he has cerebral palsy and needs surgery on his legs yesterday.
Adoption is expensive.  But if everyone, gave a little there wouldn't be any more lonely children. I've known Mike and Michelle for years and I cannot say enough about their hearts for following Jesus and obeying when it doesn't even make sense.  Mike is a 5th grade teacher at my daughters' school.  He chooses to stay in a low income school district, when there are better jobs at better schools. And Michelle stays at home to take care of their 3 daughters.  I love this family and I love that they have chosen to obey God and adopt, even when it seems impossible for their family.  So please join with me in supporting their adoption and give.  We cannot rescue every one of the 160 million orphans.  But we can help this one boy.  This one boy who is sitting, waiting in Eastern Europe for someone to love him and give him a family.  Every penny counts and matters to them.  I know they will rejoice the same over $1 as they will over $100. This donate link goes directly to a secure PayPal account.

And now for our week:

St. Patrick's Day was so fun.  Did you know he was a missionary?  We taught our kids the real reason to celebrate him, and then got into some fun and legend of Ireland with "Darby O'Gill and the Little People," leprechaun traps, rainbow cake and it. was. a. blast.  I hope my kids will remember our little traditions when they are grown.

I sent D to the construction site to get a job.  He grows out of pants too fast, and Alex won't let me pass down the big sisters' clothes to him.

Reading "The Mouse and the Motorcycle" at bedtime under the dining room fort.  Love these memories.

We had to get new glasses for the big sister so I took the chance to try on some new glasses.  Lovely right? Well, I'm off to the grocery store to get ready for an 8 year old sleep over.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who was praying for Layla this week.  We felt it for sure, and she (so far) hasn't been bullied at all this week!!  Praise God.