Friday, November 19, 2010

Smoothies and Self Esteem

As I stated here, I have a love/hate relationship with my Kent State gym.  So in the spirit of continuing on with my saga and not letting it die a lonely death in my 'rough draft' pile.  I give you a post on Smoothies and Self Esteem. 
Picture with me if you will... well, me.  A 28 year old mother of 4.  Been through 5 pregnancies that have certainly left their mark.  I have walked into the gym, changed discreetly in the locker room {post on that later}, walked past the glassed in basketball courts with all the younguns playin' and showin' off, also watching to see if any hot girls walk by.  I continue on past the free weight area where much the same is going on, although here there are some serious athletes.  On I go into the elliptical/treadmill/bike area, you know, where  the tiny cuties are in their bouncy pony tails and tiny shorts {and occasionally an old professor- male - in tiny shorts, again for another post}. 
So there I am.  I get on my treadmill.  I kill it.  I get a good workout in.  I've done my thing.  I know this.  Because my hair is properly mussed and I have more than likely perspired through my shirt.  And chances are that if I took time on this particular day for a smidge of eye make up, it is probably in the vicinity of my chin now.  A proper work out.  So what do you do when you are feeling great from a great work out?  Top it off with a really healthy smoothie instead of swinging into the  nearest Burger King for dinner on the way home!

(Stock smoothie picture from random web search)
 Oh yeah, I'm feeling great now!  I've exercised and I'm making healthy choices!  Its only a matter of time until I'm looking good too. Yes!  So I head up the stairs to the smoothie bar.  This is the point at which the positive monologue in my head turns in a more negative direction. 

I walk up to the counter where, since we ARE in a university gym, there are university children working.  And I am presented with these options for a smoothie.  The option, and what I hear:

Carb Cutter (because obviously you spend a lot of time with your best friend pasta)
Slim and Tone (seriously lady, choose this one)
Fat Burner (Is that a cartoon of a fat person?)
Fat Burner Plus (same deal as above only the picture is bigger)
Miscellaneous muscle building and energizing smoothies.

Now, it is enough that I dragged myself into the gym frequented by 18-20 year olds.  I walked past the brontosauruses in the gym with my head held high.  I ran on that treadmill next to a girl who more than likely thinks an episiotomy has something to do with a fancy kind of manicure.  And now... I have to order a smoothie with a title I don't want to admit to.  So I quietly order.... and wait.  And when my order is ready what does the smoothie infant do?  Shouts. Shouts to anyone within 30 miles.  WHO ORDERED THE WILD BERRY FAT BURNER PLUS? ITS READY!
 And I quietly step forward grab my smoothie and make a bee-line for the doors.


  1. Thank you for the laughs...they were much needed. Have you ever thought of writing a book?!!!! And, I must admit - I admire your fortitude to go back. After the infant shouted, I would have needed Burger King, too!!

  2. Wouldn't want to miss reading this bit of reality! Have a sweet day and love like crazy. Someday, those young people will totally understand -- give them a decade and they'll be rowing a boat that you've departed, and chances are you will look ever so beautiful with your adorable family!

  3. You know she yelled that on purpose too...Don't worry friend, I'm getting it too. I get the guys who check me out...give me the stare down and then get to my belly and get this look on their face like...what the?!