Monday, August 27, 2012

Kindergarten Eve

Dear Addison,
Tomorrow you are starting a new phase of your life.  You are going to step out of my line of sight where I have kept you since the moment you were born.  I have loved you, hugged and kissed you a billion times.  The last five years with you have been the most magnifcent gift anyone could ever receive. Snuggling, playing barbies, taking naps, reading stories, dancing, taking care of your dollies, watching Strawberry Shortcake, holding your tiny hand in mine....

You were given to me, breathed life into me when I was sinking into the fog. And now I cannot bear to part with you, even for a few hours. 
Nothing will ever be the same after tomorrow.  I know this because your big sisters changed so drastically their kindergarten year.  They gained freedom and maturity and knowledge.
I know that for you to grow up is a good thing.  I keep trying to remind myself to be thankful for your health and ability to grow and learn. All I really want is to keep you tucked in my arms forever.  Curled into my body, with your tiny thumb in your mouth as you stare up at me with your giant, brown eyes.  Its where you and I feel safe.  I know that you are just as nervous, as I am for you, and I wish that I could take that away for you. 


We've done everything we can to alleviate the butterflies.  Your outfit with the sparkles and the skirt is ready.  Your Tinkerbell lunch box with your new squirrel hand sanitizer holder, and outlandishly, glittery tennis shoes are all waiting for you.  The Fancy Nancy backpack you carefully chose is stocked full of kindergarten supplies, just waiting for a precious 5 year old girl to use them. Everything is ready. Everything but me.
Your big sisters will be there with you, watching a waiting for a glimpse of their sweet Gussy Goose.  They will have a smile and hug ready for you if you need it, and be your security until you can run back to me and daddy.

There is an adventure waiting for you.  I know that God has even more plans for you.  There is a reason you have been given such a tender heart, a happy soul and sweet laugh.  Letting go of you means sharing my gift with the world.  I want to keep you selfishly to ourselves, but I know that the love that is inside of you will do amazing things in this world and it starts in kindgergarten. I love you with all my heart Addison Jane.
Love, Mommy

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