Tuesday, January 24, 2012

When the World Stopped

Setting- Dining room.  Blinds open to the gloomy, dark skies of a Saturday afternoon.  Inside, "chilled cucumber" walls, warm lighting and a dining room table covered in puzzle pieces and cardboard dust.

Characters- A Dad, a Mom, and a recently turned 9 little girl with long Rapunzel hair.

Mom- {grumbling and mumbling about Ohio winters, cold fingers and cold toes}

Dad- {playing some dumb zombie game on his phone, *Tetris would have been acceptable, because Tetris is cool}

Izzy- {happily chattering away about puzzle pieces, and occasionally instructing and bossing around her mom and dad which is her new favorite past-time.  Be it about cooking, driving or parenting.  So fun!}

Mom- "Izzy, I need you to know that before you agree to marry a man, you should probably ask a few more important questions than I asked."

Izzy- giggles and looks at me over the top of her glasses

Dad-{husband's head twitches, but does not look away from game}"Like what for instance???"

Mom- "For instance, how many children you want.  Or if you will forever have to live where it is cold.  I'm just saying, if you want to live where it is sunny and warm, you should find these things out before you choose a mate."

Dad- "That's your fault for only caring about my good looks at the time."

Izzy- "Oh I know all about how to mate!"..........
.......................... {world stops. zombie game stops. puzzling stops. Mom and Dad's heads snap up, eyes bug, and they stare at each other with their jaws on the table for a solid 10 Mississippi's}

Mom- "Pardon me?  And how exactly do you mate?"

Izzy- "All big cats do it the same way MOooom.  {with the exasperation only a 9 year old can muster}  One jumps on the other one's back and it bites their neck."

Mom and Dad burst into uncontrollable laughter.  Loud, raucous laughter.  The kind where eventually you can't breathe, and your sides hurt.  The kind where you finally stop, look at each other and then start the laughing, gasping for breath cycle again.

Izzy- "Why are you laughing? Mating isn't funny."

Mom- "You're right, that's how it works. Absolutely......Oh and Izzy, no more watching National Geographic without us."

And the world starts back to normal rotation.


  1. Oh, thank you!!!! I so needed that laugh this morning - and I can EXACTLY picture the whole scene, too!

  2. I am busting up!!!!!! Thank you, God, for giving our children that innocence! :) I can remember a time around calving, when Aaron (only 2 1/2 at the time) told us our horse, who is a gelding, was having a baby....instead his *** was hanging down. Jacob and I still laugh about that!!! Great memories!

  3. I just spit water on my computer screen! I love that Izzy knows it all about mating at 9!