Even when you think you've got all your.... ummm (promised Alex I would try not to swear, darn that Alex) stuff together, one can lapse into old patterns pretty easily.
Sometimes I forget that in order to be fully changed for the better, you have to remember the things you learn and continually apply them. Or they sit idle, and forgotten. Like an orange in the very bottom of the crisper drawer that has been covered over by plastic sacks of various apples, broccoli, celery, carrots. You get the drift.
If you forget about your orange there, gradually its gonna go soft. And turn all sorts of pretty hues except the one beautiful orange color it started out as. And its going to start to stink. Something that had such promise and potential is not going to be picked out of the drawer with some BBQ tongs, while holding one's nose pinched shut, and tossed probably in the outside can. Not even the kitchen trash. Its very sad.
When I came home from Beth Moore's simulcast of "So Long Insecurity" last year I was changed. I was fresh and excited about my new potential. But I let some of the lessons get lost in the daily things. The toilet scrubbings, and un-snarling three daughters' heads of goldy locks, and changing a little boy's diapers. I let my orange rot.
The same old lies of insecurity have been re-surfacing. Feelings of unworthiness, being undesireable, going back to those terrible feelings of being the unwanted tagalong.
So, instead of languishing in self-pity, and seeking out what cannot be attained, I re-read this post. And gave myself a good swift kick in the pants.
Thank you once again Beth Moore. For reminding me that I am fully loved by the Great Artist.
Proverbs 2:10- "For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul."