Therapy

Let me preface this post with this statement:

I am about to post about an night and a crazy week. So you will be asking yourself, "With all that going on, why the heck is wasting time on her blog?" And the answer, it is therapeutic. I need to write down my struggles the same as my joy... I think I can get through my day if I write it down, pray to God for strength for this day and just move on. Now, having written that down it sounds like I am about to say something truly awful and I'm not. I am in fact blessed beyond belief, and so now come to think of it I am going to turn what was going to be a list of bad things into good.

1. Alex may have been gone for much of the last 3 weeks, with more trips to come but he has a job! We can pay our bills. And barring airline delays like last week, I will be back in his arms tonight. Please God, no delays today. I need him.

2. My sweet little man Donovan got a bad fever last night and I searched the entire house for the brand new tylenol I just bought yesterday to finally find it as I was getting into my bed with him, having decided to ease his fevered body with holding him instead of medicine. So I did both. I may have been awake all night, but I got to watch his sweet face as he slept, how he hugs his blanket in the middle of the night, and sucks on his tongue instead of a pacifier or thumb.

3. Addison may have thrown up all over herself and bed in the middle of night, but it happened ten minutes after I took her back to her bed from mine. So you see, that grossness could have been all over me, Donovan and my bed.

4. I may have a ton of snow outside with more to come, but for right now the sun is shining and I am going to go stand at the window and just let it shine on my face for a minute.

5. I have to drive 30 minutes to go pick up Alex's paycheck, but like I said, he has a job and is getting paid. I can feed my babies, and keep the heat on in our home.

6. I'm looking at blankets, toys, cereal bowl, my textbooks, socks, coloring books, Fisher Price farm animals, just to name a few and I have no time to clean it up. Hmmm.... having trouble finding the positive here....

7. I have my first big Art History Exam today, on no sleep, little review and no energy to do any review, but tomorrow it will be over and done with for better or worse. And with tomorrow comes ballet for my three ballerinas, something I look forward to all week long.

8. Alex may have another trip next week, and the next and the next, but for this weekend, we get our daddy and husband back.

9. February is a hard month for me. While I love Valentine's Day, the month always holds the reminder of my son Alexander, who would be four years old now... Seems fitting that in the month of love I have a reminder of my little love waiting for me in Heaven.

10. Today may be hard. But I'm going to enjoy my blessings today, thanks to a complete stranger who reminded me to.