Friday, January 30, 2009

Self-Discouragement

I know. I know. I just had a baby one month ago. One month ago today actually. Sheesh, how is that possible? Anyway, I made the mistake of trying on khakis today in a store in front of a full length mirror...dum dum dum and dumb dumb dumb. Whilst pregnant with my sweet Donovan I gained 50 pounds. YIKES! So, since then I have lost 28 of it, but that still leaves me at a very chubby amount. I have at least 30 more to go until I am at my ideal weight. Its so frustrating to be at this starting point. I have not slept thru the night since August, which doesn't leave much energy for exercising. But I have to do it. Because I never want to see what I saw in the mirror today again. I am always unhappy when I am overweight and can't seem to focus on anything else. Its because I love yummy food so much. I love the pasta and pizza and chocolate cake and ice cream. I just do. Its delicious. So losing weight is awful because then I constantly think about the things I can't have. And having it in small doses doesn't really work for me, I'm not so good at the "have one hershey kiss" or "just have one slice of pizza" thing. Its too much of a temptation. I do realize that it is so typical of a post partem woman to complain about her weight, but this is my struggle right now, and I needed to get it out of my head.
I know. I know. I just had a baby one month ago.

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